How to Use VIP Emails at – Online Dating Advice, Free Dating Guide and Tips

How to Use VIP Emails at - Online Dating Advice, Free Dating Guide and Tips

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How to Use VIP Emails at

What is a VIP email message? It stands for “Very Interested Person” and this is a fresh type of message that is testing at the time of this writing (right now only some users are presently able to use). You should see a “Use Your VIP Email” button when you’re writing an email if you’re in the group of users who have this feature enabled.

A VIP email has a few rules and features that make it significantly different than a normal email:

  1. You can only send one a week so use it wisely! VIP emails are awarded each Monday at midnight. If you don’t use that week VIP email, you will lose when the next Monday arrives. should send you an email if you’ve not used your VIP email and the week is about to end.
  2. You will get a notification when your email is read.
  3. Your VIP emails will stay at the top of their inbox until they read it and react or until 7 days is up.
  4. You will be marked as a VIP in the account of the person you contact such as in their Connections page. You’ll stay in these areas for 30 days.
  5. If someone sends you a VIP email and you reply, your email will have the same features in their inbox as if you had send the original VIP message.

Recommended Usage of the VIP Email Feature

I met my wifey using but this feature didn’t exist when I was using the service. Because of that, I don’t have any firsthand practice sending these but I do know how I would use them.

Very first, I should explain that normally when I was looking at a woman’s profile, I would have some guess as to how likely it was that she would write me back. A lot of this guessing was based on how much we had in common, her described personality, how she introduced herself in her profile, how attractive she was, and my previous practices sending emails. Obviously my very first impressions weren’t always right but I got pretty good at guessing who would write back.

For the sake of argument I’m going to make up some numbers on the fly here. There’s no science here, I’m just using it to describe my thinking. Let’s assume that there’s a 10% chance that a woman will contact me when I consider her to be in the “not likely to react to me” category. Let’s also assume that there’s a 70% chance that a woman will react to me when they are in what I consider to be the “very likely to react to me” category. If VIP emails increase the chance that someone will email you back by 10%, I would rather increase the 2nd example to 80% than the very first to 20%. As I talk about in my online dating guide, I’m all about the numbers of dates I can get so I want to stack the deck where my odds are the best.

VIP Messages: Particularly Good For Studs?

One big complaint I have, which I also talk about in my dating guide, is that there are slew of studs who think the best way to contact women is to write one email and then spam every woman in 50 miles of them with it. This not only frustrates the women who quickly catch onto this, it also makes it more difficult for the genuine boys to catch a woman’s attention. I would have liked to use this feature when I was dating online since it gives you the chance to say that you’re serious.

But Are VIP Emails Intimidating or Desperate?

A reader asked me this question so I wished to address it here. I wouldn’t worry too much about being seen as desperate or worry that you might intimidate the person you contact. I’ll admit that if someone doesn’t want to react to your email they may dislike the fact that you know they’ve opened your email but you’re in no worse situation than you would be with a normal email. As far as desperate goes…,I think these emails are pretty flattering! The fact that someone out there determined that you were the most significant contact for them is nice. If someone on a dating site gets funked because someone else would like to meet them and shows it, well…,.that sounds more like their problem than yours.

An Alternate Use of the VIP Email

These VIP emails are flattering by nature. If you’re already in a conversation with someone and your conversations are going excellent, it would be a thick compliment to them to use your VIP email next time you contact them. You’re taking what would normally be used to persuade someone fresh to talk to you and instead are telling someone you are already talking to how much you appreciate talking with them. Done the right way, I believe this could win you major points with the person you’re talking to.

Overall, I truly like the idea of these VIP messages. It gives users a way to pay a nice compliment as well as some opportunities to remain in the mind of the person you contact. It will also likely help since some people may fall in love with the feature that shows when someone has read your email and will end up signing for premium account (you have to pay extra for features like when they open your email). Regardless, I think this is a good idea and hopefully everyone will have access to this feature soon.

About the Author:

Brad originally struggled with online dating but over time became fairly successful using it. He met his wifey using online dating and has been providing advice and helping people improve their results since 2007. He has written a Free Online Dating Guide to help others find success with online dating. You can learn more about his private practice using online dating and running this website here.


If im the one sending the VIP email to a female. Does she HAVE to be a subscriber to read it ? as well as reply ?

I don’t believe that the VIP emails switch any of the rules. For non-subscribers my thought is that, yes, she would have to be a subscriber to be able to reply.

I was talking to someone on match, and all of a sudden the emails stopped and further emails went unread. I surmised her account had expired, so I called customer service to complain about my inability, as a paid member, to reach whom I dreamed to reach.

They told me to use a VIP email and assured me that it could be read regardless of the subscription status. Nothing in the online help about VIP says that VIP emails can be read by non-paying members, so I’m a bit skeptical, but I guess we’ll see if it works.

I am a member and since I am not a paid subscriber of I cannot read the VIP e-mail…, ?? I can only wink and that’s it.

This is an old post so I don’t know if you still witness it or even if you would have the reaction, but my question is how do I turn OFF the VIP? A woman sent me a VIP message and I replied to it, the next letter she told me how flattered she was that I chose to send her a VIP message…,I did NOT choose to do that, MATCH, as my paternalistic and patronizing angel in all its wisdom, determined I dreamed to and sent a comeback VIP. What are they THINKING, that just because someone thinks your special you are required to feel the same about them? Utter idiocy. Is there ANY way to reply where it is not labeled VIP? I’ve sent from my regular email account (that’s the one that was labeled VIP even however there was no way for me to choose that option had I desired to), I’ve sent fresh email with a different subject line (ie not a comeback to a VIP email), but it is always labeled as if she was my certain special someone and it is already causing me problems with this woman. My only other option is to simply not reply to her

If you got an response to how to reply to a VIP without using your own VIP, please let me know. I have attempted several things and the reply seems to always be a VIP…, even when I go to the sender’s profile and choose a fresh email to that person! UGH!

Jedy – that sounds odd to me. Could she be mistaken? I don’t believe that replying to a VIP email makes your email VIP but it may cause your profile to emerge that way to her (or perhaps just sending you a VIP email would enhance you in her account). If I’m wrong, you could always attempt to use your VIP email very first and then reply since you only get one a week…,but again, I wouldn’t think that would be necessary.

What *POSSIBLY* difference could it ever make if you waste time writing Ten “individual emails” or send Ten copies of the same email?

I care about *WHAT* a dude says to me…, not “oh, gee, did you write that info about yourself, just for little old me?”

Hey Carol – I’ve talked to a lot of women on this and most of them have the opposite view. However, aside from what many women think of it, I personally think it’s simply a better treatment to know who you’re contacting, why you’re contacting them, and to make an effort to build up her attention.

If I am not a subscriber why do people send me VIP e-mails I cannot read them! What ever happened to the free weekends.

Hi Melissa – other people won’t know if you’re a subscriber or not. For free weekends, you might be thinking of eHarmony? I’m not familiar with free weekends.

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