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OKC may have a high member count, but a lot of women find its barrage of hook-up requests and outright manhandle an instant crimson flag.

OKC may have a high member count, but a lot of women find its barrage of sex requests and outright abuse an instant red flag.

OkCupid is a free online dating site that has an excellent algorithm for matching playmates. Just be ready to roll with some pretty unseemly punches.

By Willard Foxton

Trio:25PM GMT Eighteen Nov 2013

Online dating is a rough business. When you begin out, there’,s a mountain of sites to choose from, knowing where to begin can be intimidating to say the least.

OkCupid (OKC) stands out because it is one of the thickest dating sites out there. It’s has 30 million active users, with a million logging in every day. So, even if you think there’,s only a million to one chance someone will date you, in theory, there’,s a man/woman/omnisexual on here for you.

Sound promising? Well, strangely, it’s actually one of the instant problems with OKC. The site as an absolute hive of polyamorous kinksters, furries and other assorted people at the odd end of the dating site pool. It seems that the world’s more extreme sexual daters have found safety in the OKC numbers game and gathered in one place to pester each other.

The reason lies in OKC’s modus operandi. When you sign up to the site, as well as drafting the normal essay about how fine you are and uploading four out of concentrate photographs from that period in 2006 when you were hot, you response a raft of numerous choice questions. These range from the fairly ordinary (“,Could you date a smoker?”,) to the exceptionally weird (“,What are your opinions on Eugenics?”,).

The questions are picked at random from a list of ems of thousands. You have to response 50 to begin with, so the site can build a picture of what you are. Thereafter, the more questions you response, the more likelihood the OKC algorithm will find you a match. What this means is, with not much thought, you can fairly lightly sculpt your profile to find, for example, a gay eugenics pipe smoker.

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The profusion of kinky folk can get fairly appalling at times, especially if, like me, your sexual appetites are fairly tame.

One woman sent me an email with a five point list of things she desired to do to me. Long story brief, it involved going to her hook-up basement and being locked in a box while she gasped me and her spouse relaxed himself on me.

The message ended in the most English way imaginable: “Do let me know if that sounds like your cup of tea”. I politely declined. Call me a prude, but urine-soaked homoerotic strangulation is not my cup of tea at all.

The other reason all these people are on OKC is, of course, that the site is free to join. And it’s here where you encounter the 2nd major drawback.

Wait, I hear you say. Free is bad? Well, yes, in my practice of online dating, free is very certainly bad. Free sites are packed utter with spammers and scammers and people looking for casual hook-up. Even if that latter category sounds appealing to you, reminisce that people blithely (or despairingly) looking for a squeeze inbetween the sheets can put more earnest daters off.

OKC may have a high member count, but a lot of women find its barrage of hook-up requests and outright manhandle an instant crimson flag. Some of the messages are absolutely astonishing. One female friend complained to me that she got so many messages per day (most telling “,Heyyyy”,) she felt that she “,was at the centre of a toad knot”,. Another sent a polite rejection to a man only to be called a “feminazi ****” in come back. This isn’,t a one-off phenomenon, it seems to be the normal practice for women on the site.

There are different levels of this pestery –, few people get as many creepy messages as Asian women (documented here). But after a duo of weeks of messages that make the YouTube comment boards look sane, a lot of women give up on it. As few people actually bother deleting their profile, part of the torment of using OKC is wondering whether the person you’ve messaged is overlooking you or simply met a lovely bloke six months ago.

Mind you, it’,s not all bad –, there are slew of lovely women on there, and the site has a phat success rate in matching fucking partners. One person I know went on the site, answered as many messages as she could manage, didn’t bother writing a profile, found a boy with a 99pc match, and is still with him today.

As for me, well, I think my practice of the site was typical. I met one woman who was boring, one woman who almost bit my finger off over dessert, and the gf I’,m with today. I got what I desired from the site –, albeit it wasn’t always the most convenient practice.

Essentially, OkCupid is an OK dating site. It works, but you have to be willing to sort a lot of wheat from chaff.

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