Dating after 50 has a entire Fresh set of rules.
Nothing wrong with that if you ask me, a dating coach for women . It’s significant to know what will and won’t work for you in a match, especially when you’re dating in middle age and beyond.
The survey exposed three big deal breakers that prevent someone from choosing a particular playmate. I’ve also heard slew of others over the last 11 years in my practice.
More than 75 percent of the OurTime.com membership participated in the survey and considered the following “deal breakers” when considering whether or not to date someone:
1. Poor health (78 percent)
Two. Financial instability (76 percent)
Three. Not physically attractive (75 percent)
These concerns aren’t too surprising, are they? Successful women of a certain age have told me how they don’t want to be a “nurse with a purse.” Dating over 50 is frustrating sometimes because it seems like many mature women meet older dudes who are ailing physically, financially or perhaps both.
Many singles have worked hard to build their nest eggs and don’t want a playmate without means to drain their bank accounts with health or monetary needs. I see the point, but also want to mention that there are degrees of everything. You never know who will stay healthy, get ill or need funds.
On the other palm, if you meet someone who is already down the road to poor health and financial troubles, it’s clever to question whether getting involved and taking that on is a wise choice. There are slew of other singles to choose from who won’t need constant care and attention.
Now let’s talk about physical attraction. There’s no denying that a lack of physical attraction means there’s no spark, no chemistry and no hope for a relationship. Patti Stanger, the Bravo TV Millionaire Matchmaker, claims dudes are more visual, either they feel attracted or they don’t. Women, on the other mitt, have a broader range of what is acceptable in terms of physicality, and can be heated up by a man’s charm or endearing personality.
The good news about the difference in fellows’s and women’s attraction is that you can do things to improve your desirability!
1. Lose some weight, exercise, and get in better form.
Getting fit is not only good for your dating prospects, but also good for your health. Plus, it might help you avoid being affected by deal breakers #1 and #Trio.
Two. Wear quality clothing that fits well and looks good on you.
If you don’t know what colors or styles work on your bod type, ask for help in any high-end retail store. You can also ask a gf who has a good sense of style. The right colors for your skin and the right clothing for your form can make a tremendous difference in your appearance and confidence as well. Ladies, there’s no need to be a sub to style, but current styles do help you look junior.
Three. Gentleman, please get a fresh pair of footwear and a fresh belt too.
Yes, women notice these details and judge you accordingly. Scuffed boots and a worn belt won’t do. You deserve to look good and dress well.
Four. Ladies, update your hair and makeup.
Slew of women wear makeup daily, but others just can’t be bothered. There’s no question that makeup helps you look more youthful and attractive. Take five minutes in the morning to put on some redden, mascara and lipstick. In addition, as the years go by, lightening your hair softens the contrast with your skin, especially if you were originally a dark dark-haired. While brief cropped hair might be super effortless, a little more length does catch a man’s eye.
The next three deal breakers come from my dating coaching clients and are also very telling as to how people judge their dates.
1. Lack of vitality or activity.
To attract love, you should have a spring in your step and a desire to do things. If you just want to sit at home and see TV, you might need to do that on your own. Most singles over 50 are a vibrant, active group who still want to do and see so much. Perk up and leave the house more often if you tend to be a home assets. Getting out gives you more energy and stimulates your mind, it also makes you a lot more interesting and gives you things to talk about when on a date.
So many of my dating coaching clients complain about people with negative attitudes. Both boys and women choose a fucking partner who is optimistic and feels good about life. If you are feeling down about what life has to suggest, don’t expect a playmate to pack that void. You need to feel good about your own life before you get to share in someone else’s.
Trio. Unrealistic expectations.
I wish I had a dollar for every man and woman who called me to say, “I look 15 years junior than I am, and only want to date people 15 years junior.” Indeed? While I understand what attracts you to youth, I have to ask these callers: “What will they see in you?” This May-December thing absolutely does happen, but it’s not something you can totally insist on. If you are only willing to date people significantly junior than you, that severely boundaries your prospects and could impede your capability to find the love you want.
Finding love after 50 is absolutely possible. My clients find love and so do millions of other singles over 50. Knowing what you are looking for and what to avoid in a fucking partner is a clever strategy to find a good mate. Doing your part to maximize your own attraction will undoubtedly improve your chances, too.
Dating Coach Ronnie Ann Ryan is the author of Is He the One? Find Mr. Right by Spotting Mr. Wrong which radically simplifies understanding dudes. Get more dating wisdom in her free book: 7 Dire Dating Mistakes that Keep You Single.
7 Comics That Ideally Sum Up Modern-Day Dating
More content from YourTango: